Welcome back to our Monthly Real-life stories. Each month we will feature a new story with someone who has real-life experience themselves or with loved-ones who suffer from depression, cyberbullying, substance abuse or suicide. Social Media makes the world look amazing which in-turn makes us feel bad when our lives do not measure up. It is important to understand the difference between the social media world and the real word. We hope through these experiences, you will see:
- You are not alone, many people suffer.
- It is ok to not be ok, there is help.
- You can overcome it, talk to others for support.
In this months real-life story, Charlotte shared how talking impacts her. She is a 23-year-old suicide survivor who is now a mental health advocate and freelance writer, with a passion to raise awareness and remove stigma. You can find her work at: www.charlotteunderwoodauthor.com or on Twitter at: @CUnderwookUK
How One Conversation Can Save A Life
As a teenager, it became quite apparent that my thoughts and feelings had developed into something more. It was past the point of ‘a phase’ or ‘hormones’, not that you should ever just assume the cause.
I was so confused, alone and even angry at my inability to be like everyone else. It seemed that no matter where I went, I was the odd one out. I felt like no one could possibly understand what I was going through, so it was best to deal with it in my own time.
What I did not realize, was that I was not alone, I just hadn’t reached out.
Trying to cope with a mental illness, when you do not really understand it, and you do not have the support that you rightly deserve and need, is incredibly hard. Inevitably, spending years trying to fight this mysterious voice in my head that would wound me any chance it got, led to me developing unhealthy coping mechanisms; which almost took my life.
What I have learned now, as a person with a better understanding and two feet firmly on the ground, is that all it would have taken, to make a great change to my life, is that if I reached out. Alternatively, if someone had just reached out to me, if they asked if I was ok and meant it, or they saw the signs and gave me a safe space, things would have been so different.
It took a suicide attempt for people to show they care, though, some people decided to ignore that it happened completely and I suppose, they didn’t take it seriously. It just stings to know that people are only willing to step in when you are almost dead.
It shouldn’t be that way. People who suffer from depression or any other mental illness are at risk of suicide. Some people talk about doing it, and they never do, yet there are so many others who do succeed; it’s not something that is ever worth the gamble.
Having just one conversation, taking the time out of our busy days to send a text, make a call or visit our loved ones, can be the conversation that saves a life. When we show a person they are loved, we provide them with the support that they have been secretly praying for, we also give them a sign that they are worth it, and they matter.
The next time that alarm bells ring, and you see someone you love struggling, don’t be afraid to talk to them. Talking about suicide will not cause them to do it.
Sometimes a plea for help can be a last resort, and they need someone to just let them know it’s ok, to prove that they should keep fighting; it’s complicated. So many times I have tried so hard to ask for help, but I can’t do it directly, the action that one person can make to remind me that my life is worth it, is more valuable than anything else.
And if you are contemplating suicide, please know that this message is for you: Life is so hard, and you may feel overwhelmed or beaten down right now. The thing is, you’ve made it this far, you’ve survived all of your bad days and that shows so much strength. I cannot ask you to live for me, but I will ask that you know that you matter and that I, among many others, will listen; and we will always walk beside you.
If you would like to see more of her work, check out her site: www.charlotteunderwoodauthor.com
Or visit her on twitter: @CUnderwookUK
